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What Comparison Reveals About Ourselves
What Comparison Reveals About Ourselves
Us women are often the best at this. We love to compare ourselves with others or secretly measure ourselves against seemingly famous people whose lives are constantly thrown in our faces—people we’re nowhere close to resembling. Someone who is completely out of our league, yet we somehow feel pressured to be like them. Take me, for example. Whenever I scroll through those flawless Instagram videos—videos that showcase exactly what I wish I could show in my own but usually can’t—I feel that familiar sting of jealousy creeping through my veins. Why I cant make those videoas? Because I’m not a professional videographer, nor do I have the time to create three of those per week. I’m a working mom of two. And I love surfing (real waves) too much.
Yes, life can be tough sometimes. But getting stuck in that comparison spiral? That’s one of the worst feelings of all.
Surfing is like holding up a mirror to your soul. It reflects your mindset, your insecurities, and your relationship with yourself
When you compare yourself to other surfers, it’s never just about the waves or the skills. It’s about what those comparisons reveal inside you. —and you’ll often see those same patterns outside the surf, too: at work, in school, with friends, or even within your family. Here is what your surf comparisons might be showing you—and how to turn them into tools for self-awareness and growth.
You might ask yourself: “Why do they get more waves than me?”
You might ask yourself: “Why do they get more waves than me?”
What it shows: This isn’t just about wave count—it’s about worthiness, confidence, and self-trust. If you’re constantly questioning why others seem to “deserve” more waves, it might point to:
Fear of missing out (FOMO): Are you worried you’re not “good enough” to catch waves?
Comparison to others’ skill level: Are you judging yourself against surfers who’ve been at it longer?
External validation: Do you rely on others’ approval (e.g., getting waves from a lineup) to feel like you belong?
The real question is: “Do I catch waves based on my own ability and intuition, or am I waiting for permission?”
The answer: “Do I actually sit on the right spot to be able to catch waves? ➡️ Move to where the waves are breaking. This might mean going further inside to catch smaller waves or positioning yourself where the wave is steeper.
Do I let other people know that I WANT that wave ➡️ Paddle hard and assertively. Make it clear it’s your wave—without dropping in on others.
You might ask yourself: “Why does their style look so much more professional?”
You might ask yourself: “Why does their style look so much more professional?”
What it shows: This isn’t about surfing—it’s about authenticity vs. performance. If you’re hyper-focused on how others look, it might reveal:
Self-consciousness: Are you worried about how you appear to others?
Pressure to perform: Do you feel like you have to look a certain way to be taken seriously?
Loss of joy: Are you prioritizing “looking good” over the pure fun of surfing?
The real question is: “Am I surfing for myself or for the approval of others?”
The answer: Grab a pen and paper and ask yourself: What’s the real answer here? If you need external approval, ask yourself if surfing is the right way to prove that—or if there are other avenues to get it. Reflect on what surfing truly gives you and whether your appearance really matters most.
Here’s the truth: No one in the surf cares how you look. Everyone is focused on getting their own waves, having fun, and concentrating on their own ride. You’re not being judged—you’re just overthinking it.
Here’s the truth: No one in the surf cares how you look. Everyone is focused on getting their own waves, having fun, and concentrating on their own ride. You’re not being judged—you’re just overthinking it.
You might ask yourself: “Why do they always get the best waves?”
You might ask yourself: “Why do they always get the best waves?”
What it shows: This is about control and surrender. If you’re frustrated by others’ wave selection, it might highlight:
Perfectionism: Do you feel like you have to catch the “best” wave to feel satisfied?
Lack of trust in your own judgment: Are you second-guessing your decisions in the water?
Competitiveness: Are you treating surfing like a race rather than a dance with the ocean?
The real question is: “What waves am I missing because I’m too busy watching others?”
The answer: As mentioned before, no one cares about the size of your waves or how many turns you can do. People care about having fun—and your joy makes the session better for everyone. Focus on yourself. Ask yourself: Am I really doing my best to catch more waves? If you’re too busy watching others, you might not be giving your best shot
You might ask yourself: “They make it look so easy—why can’t I?”
You might ask yourself: “They make it look so easy—why can’t I?”
What it shows: This is the classic highlight reel trap – hello, Instagram!! What it’s really about:
Unrealistic expectations: Are you comparing your behind-the-scenes struggle to someone else’s highlight?
Self-doubt: Are you minimizing your own progress because it doesn’t look like someone else’s?
Fear of failure: Are you afraid to look “bad” in front of others?
The real question is: “What would happen if I embraced the messy, imperfect process of learning?”
The solution: Yes, progress is hard. Yes, it includes failure. And yes, it’s frustrating to admit you’re not good at something yet. But remind yourself: “I have so much room to grow!” And here’s another truth: EVERYONE started surfing at some point in their life. EVERYONE began small.
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